Balancing positive and negative emotions

Understand why negative emotions are ok and can help us…

Learning about the science of happiness during lockdown times, I picked up some really useful insights on how to balance positive and negative emotions, and how negative emotions actually help us.

There was an analogy used that resonated with me and has stuck in my mind - it just makes so much sense! It was about a sailboat. The strong mast above the water representing positive emotions, catching the wind in the sail and moving you forward. Beneath the water is the heavy keel, representing negative emotions, which prevents the boat from capsizing and helps with direction. Like emotions, both the mast and the keel are necessary, and each has its purpose.

The reality is we all experience negative emotions and rather than completely pushing them away or punishing yourself for feeling ‘bad’, you can listen to these emotions, try to learn from them, and use them to help find your way or get back on course. Balancing the positive emotions (happiness, excitement, gratitude, awe, confidence, hopefulness) with the negative (fear, worry, hurt, anger, pain) in a healthy way can help you make decisions and navigate life.

The idea is to get the ratio right and have more positive emotions than negative to stay well and be heading in the right direction. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s research has shown that people who have an approximately 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions on a daily basis experience better health, relationships, and work performance. 

I guess this also relates to the term ‘keeping an even keel’ which is an easy way to remember this when you need it.

So, when you are experiencing the negative emotions that are not avoidable in life, endeavour to feel them for what they are (and know you are not alone). Then remember to try and balance out the negative with MORE positive emotions, so the negative doesn’t outweigh the positive and drag you down.

How to increase your positive emotions and find joy day-to-day is coming up in our next blog!

Related recent posts:

If you reach the point of feeling down on an ongoing basis, it is worth looking for support, read more about this and where to get help here: Depression and mood challenges

If you can tune into your emotions and what they are trying to tell you, you can start to manage them and how you respond to them, rather than feel like they are managing you: Riding the wave: Emotional regulation

Burying your feelings is so unhealthy and the root of so many of the challenges we face today! So instead, learn to reframe… Reframing