7 lessons I've learned after 20 years of a destructive battle with food
7 lessons I've learned after 20 years of a destructive battle with food
Do you find yourself stuck in a cycle of trying to ‘eat better’ and ‘be healthier’ but not being able to keep on track? Feeling like a failure, frustrated, and caught in a rut of shame and self-blame? Or maybe you’re overwhelmed by conflicting advice, endless food rules, and mixed opinions about what’s actually healthy?
If you’re fed up with it all, I hear you – and I’m here to help.
For the last 15 years of my career, I’ve worked with people just like you, helping them improve their relationship with food, their body, and themselves after my own destructive battle with food for over 20 years.
Growing up, I watched my mum go on and off diets and at about the age of nine, after being called chubby by my dance teacher. I picked up one of my mum’s diet books and started following the rules myself - counting calories and avoiding anything with fat because ‘low-fat’ was all the rage back then.
What started as a way to gain control in a difficult time – being bullied and struggling to make friends – quickly spiraled. I found myself caught in a painful cycle of restriction and bingeing. I’d eat almost nothing one day, then lose control and binge on cereal, Nutella and ice-cream.
Things got so bad that I reached a point where I planned to end my life. Fortunately, a friend intervened. I started antidepressants at 19, finished university, and made the big decision to move to New Zealand. I hoped a fresh start would fix things, but my problems followed me, and I needed to find a better way to manage what I was dealing with.
Since that point I have been on a wild journey of self-discovery and have fully immersed myself in the study and exploration of what it is that makes us who we are, and why we eat and behave the way we do and what I have learnt on this journey is what I share in my new book ‘End your fight with food’.
Here are some of the key things I learnt to help you get started:
What is driving your choices? There are many reasons why we eat and drink that have nothing to do with needing food or really wanting a drink. It's so common to eat when we are bored, tired, angry, frustrated or feeling lonely. Alcohol is also a reward that we turn to when something goes well, or just as a result of getting through the milestone of completing another day of life and walking through the door after work. In ‘End your fight with food’ I help you work though all the reasons why you eat and drink when you do and it will help you reprogramme your habits so you can get things back on track without needing to follow a strict diet or give up all the foods you love.
Permission to Eat. Diet culture has convinced us that we need to restrict, avoid, and follow strict rules to be healthy. That is so far from the truth! In my book, I focus on eating to nourish your body and mind, with an emphasis on what to ‘add in’ rather than what to cut out.
Honour Hunger and Fullness. Many of us were raised to finish everything on our plate, even when we weren’t hungry, which can create a disconnection from our natural hunger and fullness signals. Learning to recognise and respect these signals is a crucial step towards a healthier relationship with food.
Access and Environment Matter. We are far more likely to choose the first thing we see or the easiest option. If healthy choices are easily accessible – like having veggies prepped or gym gear ready – we’re more likely to make them. I show you how to set up your environment for success in the book.
It’s About More Than Just Food. True wellbeing goes beyond what’s on your plate. Sleep, movement, stress management, and a sense of meaning and purpose all play a role. As does having a connection to other people. In ‘End Your Fight with Food,’ I share my Wheel of Wellbeing – a framework for finding balance in every area of your life which will help you keep well in our busy modern world.
Poor Sleep Impacts Everything. When you are tired, it’s harder to regulate your appetite and your emotions. You’re also more likely to crave sugar and salty foods. Sleep deprivation drives the stress cycle and makes everything harder. In the book, I share how to improve your sleep no matter how busy you are!
How You Talk to Yourself Matters. You will never hear another voice more than you hear your own ‘inner voice’. If that voice is critical and harsh, it can fuel destructive patterns with food and beyond. Learning to change that inner dialogue is a powerful step and an essential part of the process of building a healthier relationship with food and yourself.
"Life is too short to spend another day at war with yourself."
My new book, End Your Fight With Food, is available to order online.
Claire x
